Today i drove an hour to watch my brother and his team play in a baseball tournament. They played fairly good, won one, lost one, but then it was time for me to come back to my "home." I don't consider this home yet because my heart is still back in my home town, it was so hard to drive back to school when my house was only 30 minutes away. Ofcourse, I could have gone back but I needed to come back to my apartment for myself, to spread my wings, per say. I almost broke down crying at first but then I got a grip of myself because my parents are paying good money for me to be here and make this apartment my home while I make something of myself at college. Why should I be sad? I enjoy being at school and living on my own but my family isn't here and that sucks! I miss them like crazy!
I was thinking while driving, the best time to think because it's quiet and peaceful and at times the only time I allow my mind to slow down, why didn't I get this emotions I'm feeling right now last year? I was a little ole freshman living in the dorm with my car miles down the road from me, all I had was my best friend/roommate (and she lives with me now). I think it was because I was plunged into college life and ready to dive in head first. I also thought that I shouldn't cry because I was a "big girl now" so I held all those emotions in and brushed them off. Now, they are resurfacing stronger than ever and I'm not scared to feel them, they are normal, and everyone feels them just at different times. I'm okay with that this year!
So, tonight I have been a little sad and sentimental because I MISS MY FAMILY, but that's alright!
PS- I also have a horrible head cold including a fever which makes me want my mommy even more.
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