My Sweet Girl

This past Friday my Daddy had to call and tell me something I know he hated to, my sweet, sweet Lady Bug passed away... That phone call was a big mess, I was crying, he was crying and I just had to tell him after a couple of minutes that I would call him back later once I pulled myself together.

You see this was my first dog that I really remember having.

I picked Lady out at the animal shelter in Raleigh and ever since that day she has been my girl.

We have jumped on the trampoline together, played in the snow together, I walked/ran/rode bikes around the neighborhood and she has always been by my side.

She has protected me from other dogs. Seriously, she tore one dog up because that dog snapped at me and my bother when we were riding scooters in the neighborhood.

She was loyal, obedient, loving, affectionate, and sassy.

She always got her way, with anyone. It was always what Lady wanted, Lady got.

Gah lee if she wasn't loved.

It tears me up that when I go home next she won't be at the door greeting me and begging me to just touch her head once. Tears. Me. Up. I know I'll probably lose it all over again. And frankly, I dread going home because of that.

Thankfully, my sweet Lady went quick, she got sick and she passed away within a couple of days. For that, I'm thankful, because I know she didn't suffer.

Mr. Robert let her hang out with him during the day while no one was home, if she got left outside.

Our neighbors mom let her walk around the neighborhood with her every morning.

And Josh made sure she was feed and had plenty of water every night.

Momma and Daddy loved on her at night once I was at school.

Age, our cat, made sure she had plenty of cat food throughout the day and night when Lady was inside. (Seriously, Age would beg for food and then let Lady eat it! It was hilarious and annoying.)

Daddy and Josh made sure she had a nice place to rest over at the farm.

I sure did love that fat black lab. She was my "big girl." No dog will EVER replace her.

My heart has been a little empty this past week..

More Than What I Am

The woman I am... The woman I want to be... The woman I am going to become...

You see the steps here. The process. 

Today, tonight, I am a person, I have many characteristics about myself that I like and want to keep, but I have MANY that I don't like and I want to change so desperately! 

I am...

Loving. Caring. Warm. Kind. Giving. Dedicated. Family Oriented. Passionate. Christian. One of Jesus'. Prideful. Not so forgiving. Holder of grudges. Mediocre. Selfish. Bitter. Cold. 

Do you see this. 

I am a a little of everything, it seems. 

I am a Christian and dedicated to the Lord and His will for my life, yet I'm prideful (I do things my way), cold (towards some), I hold grudges, I'm bitter! 

I am all of these in certain situations. To me, this means I don't have self control and I'm not fully focused, eyes dead set of my Faith. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord and I try every day to take time and do a daily devotional and spend time praying. 

But I have become redundant. That is the problem. I have become repetitive in my life. In every aspect. 

I'm not as intentional as I used to be. Red flag. 

I want to be a woman with intention. I want to love with intention. With purpose. I don't want to be mediocre. I don't want to feel guilty because of my thoughts or actions. 

I don't want to walk past my momma, daddy, or brother and them not feel and know just how much I love them. 

I want everyone to feel that way. 

I want to be...

Compassionate. Purposeful. Driven. Loving. Warm. Selfless. Surrendered. Sweet. Infectious. Faithful. Joyful. 

I don't want a year, even a week, from now someone to think of me and think anything less than, she was a woman of  faith and her faith and devotion to the Lord was infectious. 

I want to be more the mediocre. 

"There is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain!"

A Heavy Heart

This past Thursday I got news that a very special lady passed away. Mrs. Dana was a mom to all the kids, she loved the Lord, always smiling, she made a mean batch of rice krispy treats (my favorite, had them twice, and I can't make any that compare!), kind to everyone she saw - I don't think she meet a stranger, loved everyone no matter who you were, type of woman. She is an example of the woman I want to be now and forever. She set an example to live by!

Seriously, my heart breaks for the boys (her husband and two sons). Gahlee did she love her family, and you could tell!!

Something about her was so infectious!

I wish there was something you could do to take the pain away from her family but there isn't. This is something that only the Lord can pull them through! Only He can provide a peace that will soothe them, only He can provide the strength they will need to get through these next days, weeks, and months, only He will be able to fill the hole and emptiness in their hearts and lives they may feel after these past couple of days!

I hope they know just how much she meant to countless numbers of people, ones they wouldn't even think of! She was that type of woman, you see her once and she made you feel like you were important! I know she was always so inviting, into her house, to eat dinner, anything and everything.

She served her purpose on this Earth and Heaven gained an angel! A good one at that! I will miss seeing her driving around town and running into her in random places. I'll miss seeing the many pictures she posted on facebook of her family and others. But most of all I'll miss seeing her smile and her sweet spirit.

Mrs. Dana, you made an impact on my life, especially during my high school years, when I spent so much time at the farm and around your family. I pray that one day I love my family the way you loved yours. I hope I am a fraction on the woman you were at home and in the community. Rest easy, you fought a good fight!!

My 21st Birthday!

My 21st birthday has come and gone! I can say that I don't feel any older than I did last week. I guess that's how it goes!

I can say I am so blessed to have had 21 years here and with all my family and friends. What a beautiful life I have!

The weekend started on Friday and Sarah came to Greenville for my birthday weekend. It made me feel kinda special that she would drive 4 hours to see me! She came bearing great gifts, gift cards to the Loft, Target, and TJ Maxx! Which she didn't have to get me, but I gotta say I've used all three of them!

Emily also stayed the weekend and we all went to the football game on Saturday!

Emily got me a delicious cookie cake for my birthday and it was amazing! I love me a cookie cake!!

On Sunday Sarah and I went to breakfast before she had to head back home. I loved being able to see my old roomie for a couple of days. Thanks for coming Sarah!!

That afternoon, I felt really really yucky. Flu-like symptoms, achy, nauseated, chills, etc, etc, etc. But I was determined to go out to eat for my birthday like planned. I'm glad I did because I felt so much better after going. I think I just needed to get out of the apartment.

We all went to Rucker Johns and I had the best time just having dinner. So fun! Of course, they had to sing to me, which is always so embarrassing to me. But hey, you get a free dessert out of it. Right up my alley!

Then I came home this weekend and celebrated with my family!

I choose to just eat at home, I really enjoy just being at home and eating instead of going out to eat.

My parents really spoiled me and got me a gorgeous ring for my birthday! I LOVE it! So, so pretty!

I sure can't complain about this birthday, except I have probably gained about 5 pounds! Oh well!