Lately, I've been thinking, which is good trust me, that I'm kinda in a time of complacency in my little ole life. I'm at a point right now where everything is just going good, everything is working in my favor. I'm so happy with where I'm heading and where life is taking me.
This scares me. Not in a fearful type of way. I just know that, normally, when all aspects of life seem to be fine and dandy, something is going to rock the boat. So to speak. It's bound to happen. And I'm okay with that. Oddly.
I don't have a hint as to what might do the rocking, I hope its not something major, that's all I know. It could be school and the endless amount of tests that are coming my way. It could be finding a new campus ministry. It could be anything really.
I know that I'm not really itching to go to VCM anymore which I know isn't good and I'm thinking that it may be time to move on to a different place. I'm listening, it's hard, but it's not. I don't feel like I have any connections to VCM anymore, except a select few. Well maybe one good friend. It's just a weird feeling that I've never really felt before.
I think I'm really growing up and becoming my own person this year. I've changed. My attitude and personality have gradually changed a little. I'm really working on bettering myself. I am really focusing on spending just a few minutes here and there throughout the day being quiet and focusing on Jesus. And no one even knows I am which is the best part!
I want to soak in all the time I have right now with my nursing friends. I really am realizing my world is going to be rocked come May 10th. I will be a graduate of ECU CON. Crazy. I don't want to leave these people, but we must go out into the world and be the nurses and people we are called to be.
Lauren is getting married in 10 months. How? My best friend is marrying her best friend. I know that once she is married, we won't see each other that much. I hope we can at least get together every other week but who knows. That's a sad thought for me. We have seen each other so much the past four years, she has truly become my family.
I'll be another year older this month and I just don't want to get older. Why can't I just stay like this forever. I think that although I'm extremely comfortable in this phase of life right now, that something is going to happen that is really great because I'm getting older. I'm one year closer to meeting my husband. That's the one thing I can't wait for. I can, but I can't. But I also don't want to look back at this time and think why was I so worried about getting married. So I'm trying to control my thoughts about my future, not just getting married and think about now. Because in this season RIGHT now, are the best years. We have to always live as these are the best and only years. Soak it all up. Soak it up, all of it.
The calm before the storm!
