Father's Day

My daddy has been my biggest fan my whole life. Never anything thing less! He supports me, in every way, he loves me, he picks on me, he guides me, he teaches me, he lets me have my freedom, he tells my about my family (his grandparents and daddy) that I never knew, he encourages me to be me and do my best in life, he walked me for endless hours in the wee hours of the morning when I was fussing as a baby, he lets me make my own decisions and mistakes, he tells me of my worth, he loves the Lord, he serves in the church, he provides for our family, and most importantly he has shown me how Jesus loves by loving me and Josh!

Daddy is amazing and my rock. I look up to him. His opinions make my opinions and help me form my thoughts. He has brought me up church. He is the perfect Daddy and I couldn't imagine having a better one because I'm convinced there's not a better one.

We have had our moments where we aren't happy and we fuss and I get an attitude with him. I've hurt his feelings and he has hurt mine but we always make up! And I know that he will always love me. I am after all his 'baby girl.' :)

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." -- Clarence Budington Kelland

I have never..

... been a huge risk taker.

... been on a plane.

... been out of the country, shoot, I've never strayed from the east coast!

... dreamed of leaving NC.

... aspired to be a runner.

... been able to see the good in myself. I'm too critical.

... got a spray tan.

... been drunk.

... been able to shrug off my pet peeves. If you are smacking I will most likely let you know, if I know you. I'm not being mean or anything but I literally can't carry on and just ignore it.

... smoked, anything.

... read through the entire Bible.

... been able to watch people throw up. Even on TV. I have a huge fear of throw up/throwing up/stomach viruses/etc.

... appreciated my parents more than I do now that I'm in college.

... been able to go to sleep at a decent hour. I'm normally up until 1am.

... enjoyed going to school but I'm loving college life.

... dreamed of a future without a husband and kids.

... lived in a house other than the one my parents live in now.

... adapted to change easily.

... been a big fan of basketball. It bores me! I can watch football but I love baseball!

... been a 'rebel' growing up, I was always a good girl.

... been spanked much, only once that I can remember, I was 15 and my daddy spanked me on the side of the road because I raised my voice at him.

... loved having a blog more. I'm excited to go back and read all these posts in a couple of years. If you are in doubt, or don't really want to blog, you should still get one. AHEM LAUREN!! haha. It won't disappoint. :)

cancer

Let me tell you about it. If there is one thing in the whole entire world that I hate, this would be it. It is it!

No, it hasn't directly affected my family but I see families all over struggling with it, sometimes winning and, sadly, sometimes losing. I spent the last few summers of my high school years hanging out with 2 boys while I was keeping their cousin. Those boys' momma has cancer, for the second time.

I can't imagine what they have been through and are going through right now. My heart aches so deeply for them and I'm not even family. I have prayed my little heart out and will continue to do so.

She, the momma, is going in for surgery today. She is actually in surgery right now. They are expecting the surgery to be very long and tedious. Please pray for her and her family, her husband and two sons.

I can tell you one thing that's for sure. No one fights like she has and is, no one has a stronger faith in the Lord than her, no one can stop her from shinning her light and showing her love for Jesus, and no one could love other peoples children the way she does! She is an amazing woman! In all the times I've ever been around her she makes you feel like a million bucks and does ANYTHING for you.

I'm praying for nothing short of a miracle today!

UPDATE: surgery went well! PTL!

From Monday to Friday..

..I got a little darker. :)

(This is a random post with no meaning. It may sound a little conceded, but I promise that's not what I'm trying to sound like :))

Nothing much has happened since I last posted I have literally laid by the pool most days. And it has been NICE. Except when some guy decided to smoke weed, or something I have never smelled before, right behind me. I promptly got up and left. I felt like I was getting harmed in the process/slowly knocking a couple of days off my life.

But that is beside the point, my main point that I'm trying to make is that I have gone from having hardly any color to TAN!!! Yay, mission accomplished. I may have had to sit in the sweltering heat to get this color but I did it and I'm proud. haha. Didn't I ever tell you it's the little things in life that make me happy?

Thanks to some great friends for keeping me company during those many hours. Laur, Sarah, Elisabeth and Emily.

Emily was nice and invited me to come to her house yesterday to lay by the pool with her. So much fun! And her pool has a super awesome slide. So fun!

Big News

I have to put this on the blog because I'm so excited for my very best friend of 11 years. Lauren is ENGAGED! Kris proposed last Friday, the 27th. I know I'm late but I still had to write this.

Her ring is gorgeous!!!!!!! And perfect for her!!!! I'm one excited friend! Too bad the wedding is 2 years away!! :( But all the more time to plan that perfect wedding!!

Heres the ring......

beautiful, huh? Yeah, I think he likes her pretty good! I'm so excited for them! :)

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

My goal for this blog is to write what is real and true. That isn't always the things/situations that sound good and are ones that just make me look good. I don't always have it all together, I'm a mess, I cry sometimes and I'm not always happy go lucky. If I said I didn't I'd be lying. Life is hard sometimes and life isn't always fun.

This post may sound like I'm complaining a lot and hating life and work at the moment. And to be honest I'm not loving it. I've been learning a lot about myself in the past week.

So here goes "The Bad and The Ugly" of my daily life...

Since last Thursday I have been working on the floor at Avante. Thursday and Friday were good, I was training and working with another CNA at the facility. I knew this was going to be hard work but I was ready to take it on head first!

Monday rolls around, boy was I wrong!! I felt defeated, like a horrible CNA, I had 16 patients, I had to work over 30 minutes (no biggie, but all the other CNAs were done an hour before shift change), I couldn't give all my patients the care they needed, I forgot to give ice and water, I didn't get them comforters one their beds until 10, I didn't get vitals for the nurse until 11 (they were due at 8), I didn't eat but half my dinner, I didn't have time to take either of my 2 breaks, etc. IT WAS AWFUL AND I HATED IT! I finally charted and left at 1130. I got in my car and cried, I had tears running down my face until I was almost home.

But, I was determined that this was just first day happens and all would be better on Wednesday, my second day alone, WRONG!!

I was doing okay on Wednesday until right before dinner. Once again I had 16 patients, 1 room was a disaster when I got to work, the 2 patients beds were in the middle of the floor along with their dressers and wardrobes and mirrors, they couldn't get in bed so they sat outside their room. They had both used the bathroom on themselves yet I had no where to change them except the shower room and I needed another CNA. But it seemed that no CNA was willing to help me. Finally their rooms were put back, by this time I had to pass out dinner trays, I had to make their beds, get them in bed, change them, take vitals, change other patients, pass ice, chart my vitals and change the patients one more time before 11. It was 830. Yeah right! There was no way. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer, I cried on and off for a solid 2 hours. Call me a cry baby, I don't care. Everyone was so nice and helped me out. But still, I couldn't do it by myself. Anyway, I got everything done with others help and the night ended okay. But I left not wanting to go back...

Fast forward to today. I talk to Momma and she asks me how work was yesterday and was it any better than Monday. *cue the tears once more* I told her everything I just wrote, she recommends I call my boss and tell her and then she tells me it might be in my best interest to think about quitting and changing jobs because I'm so stressed out about it and I have been crying way too much to be one to not cry very often in the first place, like I seriously probably cry 2 to 3 times a year. I have cried twice in three days. Not good!

I call the Director of Nursing and tell her what all is going on and I mention that I have had 16 patients to care for both nights and she was floored. She said that no CNA should have 16 patients to care for and that she would talk to the lady who assigns the CNAs their patients. And that it would be okay if I took tonight off and to call her back tomorrow and she would have things fixed.

Now, I'm in a predicament, I don't know if I should go back or just call it quits and find a new job???? What to do???

So this has all lead me to questions...

Do I think I am a good CNA? Yes, it's just my first job as a CNA and it will be difficult.

Do I think I am cut out to be a nurse? Yes, nurses have a little bit of a different job.

Do I think once I'm a nurse I will respect CNAs and help them if needed? Your can bet your bottom dollar. I will always respect a CNA and help them no matter if I was the doctor.

Do I want to work as a CNA this summer? Of course, I don't mind the work, I actually have loved working with the patients and in the nursing home, I just can't handle 16 patients on my first couple of days.

Would I like to work 11-7? Maybe, is it a little slower paced? If so, sign me up. Just kidding, kinda.

Do I love the patients and caring for them? Absolutely. The best part of my day is seeing a patient smile and be comfortable.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

My goal for this blog is to write what is real and true. That isn't always the things/situations that sound good and are ones that just make me sound good. I don't always have it all together, I'm a mess, I cry and I'm not always happy go lucky. That's not life. Life is hard sometimes and life isn't always fun.

This post may sound like I'm complaining a lot and hating life and work at the moment. And to be honest I'm not loving it. I've been learning a lot about myself in the past week.

So here goes "The Bad and The Ugly" of my daily life...

Since last Thursday I have been working on the floor at Avante. Thursday and Friday were good, I was training and working with another CNA at the facility. I knew this was going to be hard work but I was ready to take it on head first!

Monday rolls around, boy was I wrong!! I felt defeated, like a horrible CNA, I had 16 patients, I had to work over 30 minutes (no biggie, but all the other CNAs were done an hour before shift change), I couldn't give all my patients the care they needed, I forgot to give ice and water, I didn't get them comforters one their beds until 10, I didn't get vitals for the nurse until 11 (they were due at 8), I didn't eat but half my dinner, I didn't have time to take either of my 2 breaks, etc. IT WAS AWFUL AND I HATED IT! I finally charted and left at 1130. I got in my car and cried, I had tears running down my face until I was almost home.

But, I was determined that this was just first day happens and all would be better on Wednesday, my second day alone, WRONG!!

I was doing okay on Wednesday until right before dinner. Once again I had 16 patients, 1 room was a disaster when I got to work, the 2 patients beds were in the middle of the floor along with their dressers and wardrobes and mirrors, they couldn't get in bed so they sat outside their room. They had both used the bathroom on themselves yet I had no where to change them except the shower room and I needed another CNA. But it seemed that no CNA was willing to help me. Finally their rooms were put back, by this time I had to pass out dinner trays, I had to make their beds, get them in bed, change them, take vitals, change other patients, pass ice, chart my vitals and change the patients one more time before 11. It was 830. Yeah right! There was no way. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer, I cried on and off for a solid 2 hours. Call me a cry baby, I don't care. Everyone was so nice and helped me out. But still, I couldn't do it by myself. Anyway, I got everything done with others help and the night ended okay. But I left not wanting to go back...

Fast forward to today. I talk to Momma and she asks me how work was yesterday and was it any better than Monday. *cue the tears once more* I told her everything I just wrote, she recommends I call my boss and tell her and then she tells me it might be in my best interest to think about quitting and changing jobs because I'm so stressed out about it and I have been crying way too much to not be one to cry often in the first place.

I call the Director of Nursing and tell her what all is going on and I mention that I have had 16 to care for each night and she was floored. She said that no CNA should have 16 patients to care for and that she would talk to the lady who assigns the CNAs their patients. And that it would be okay if I took tonight off and to call her back tomorrow and she would have things fixed.

Now, I'm in a predicament, I don't know if I should go back or just call it quits and find a new job???? What to do???

So this has all lead me to questions...

Do I think I am a good CNA? Yes, it's just my first job as a CNA and it will be difficult.

Do I think I am cut out to be a nurse? Yes, nurses have a little bit of a different job.

Do I think once I'm a nurse I will respect CNAs and help them if needed? Your can bet your bottom dollar. I will always respect a CNA and help them no matter if I am a doctor.

Do I want to work as a CNA this summer? Of course, I don't mind the work I just can't handle 16 patients on my first couple of days.

Would I like to work 11-7>? Maybe, is it a little slow paced? If so, sign me up. Just kidding, kinda.