Lets Throw A Pity Party

FYI: this is a warning before you go any further. i'm throwing a pity party for myself tonight. :)

okay- ready- lets go!

this past weekend and week i found out that my childhood best friend is going to be getting engaged in the near future. she is graduating college this year and will be getting engaged around the same time. i also found out today that my roommate's long time "boyfriend" (something like that, they haven't ever been in a long term relationship but she has always liked him) confessed his love for her. he told her that "he would be marrying her, if she will wait for him, he will wait for her" (sidenote- aww! how sweet! everyone knew it was coming) and then yeah, we all know my other roommate/best friend will be marrying the guy she has been dating for 3 years.

its just not fair. how can i be sitting here single, all alone, never dated, probably never will date or get married for that matter and they all be scoring awesome boyfriends. i dont understand. what have i done wrong.

now i know everyone says "God has your's picked out, he's coming" "your time will come" "who knows you may get married before us" blah blah blah blah blah. i cant fully understand this. like its easy to say this when you know what your plans are in the future, when you have a serious boyfriend, when your world is complete because you have "the one" sitting in front of you. its not so easy watching all these people fall more in love and i'm sitting here all alone. why? why do i have to feel this way? what did i do to deserve this? i long to have a boyfriend, like i want nothing more. is that what i'm doing wrong?

the only rest i get is knowing that my Jesus is there whether i have a boyfriend or not. my Jesus is the one who has decided whether i will get married. no one else has or can tell me whether i will get married or not. i can't even do that. the one thing i can tell you is that my Jesus will be the same after i get married or if i never get married, the He is now. and i can rest in that. i just wish i knew His plans for me. but that is out of my control.

ps- my Jesus is your Jesus, too. and He is always working in our best interest! :)

(i know i have rambled and probably made no sense at all in this post. sorry about that. i'm not proof reading this either. ha!)